Why I Walk Home Alone

Here in Madison, the buses stop running at midnight and I live far enough off campus that walking home takes between 20 and 30 minutes, depending where I’m coming from.  So Friday night when I’m a little tipsy at 2am and just want to sleep in my bed, suddenly there’s this big dilemma. I can’t count how many times someone’s suggested to me that I find a guy to walk me home at the end of the night so I’m not alone. And I get it: people think that a man on the street is less likely to approach me if I have a man with me. What they don’t realize is my greatest risk of being sexually assaulted actually comes from the man walking with me, not a stranger on the street.

But besides the actual risk involved, let’s talk about one of my least favorite things in the world: rape culture.

For those of you who are new to the feminist scene, rape culture refers to the way society treats rape as a result of a woman’s actions more than a crime committed by a man. People try to argue its existence, but we can clearly observe its effects through the questions rape victims are asked in court, the sentencing of perpetrators (or lackthereof), female-targeted rape prevention tips, and just the general reaction to a woman who admits to being sexually assaulted.

Rape culture relies on making women afraid to express their freedom. If a woman dresses in revealing clothes, she’s sending a message to men that her sexuality is freely available to them. If a woman gains a reputation for having sex with a lot of guys, why would any man think she would honestly deny him access? If a woman goes home with a man after a date, she’s obviously intending to have sex with him. If a woman gets too drunk to fight off unwelcome advances, she should have been more responsible. A woman walking home alone at night should have known better. Women are responsible for their own safety. Our society is hung up on the idea that rapists are going to rape no matter what, so a woman just has to make sure she’s not the one raped.

We make the night an unforgiving place and then tell women to stay away for their own good; taking away their freedom and making them rely on men. We live a contradiction: we need to fear men, but we’re also supposed to be comforted by their presence. They’re the biggest danger to us, but we’re supposed to feel safe around them. Whether good or bad, the power men have over us is constantly being drilled into our minds and influencing our habits.

But I refuse to live in fear, and I definitely refuse to let that fear control my life. I’m going to walk down the street at night like I belong there just as much as any man who doesn’t get questioned when he walks out the door alone. Because I do, and you do too.

Stay rad, pals.