All Opinions Are Created Equal (Or Not)

//TW for transphobic language toward the end//

We are all under a major misconception. I’m not sure how far this spreads, but I know it’s common with everyone I personally know and in internet discourse. This misconception is that all opinions are equal.

I can pretty much pinpoint when the idea started for me. In 2^nd or 3^rd grade, we learned the difference between fact and opinion. Something is a fact if it’s indisputable and/or observable. Something is an opinion if you could also say the opposite is true. We did examples like it’s a fact that marbles are round while purple is the best color is an opinion. Terms like “best” and “worst” were easy indicators of opinions. While this taught me that I couldn’t project my beliefs onto others or use them to generalize the feelings of everyone, it introduced a dichotomy that simply can’t be applied to larger issues.

We start learning in early elementary school that there are things that are inherently true and things that are true only in the context of our minds, but we don’t really learn how to let facts shape our opinions.  Nobody’s going to try to convince everyone else that purple is the best color because there’s no way to confirm that. Sure, you can list awesome things that are purple and try to conclude that it’s the best color, but you can do the same thing for every other color so chances are you’re not going to convince anyone. So this is how we learn to look at opinions: nobody can be “right” so all opinions are equal in their wrongness.

But is that really true?

Is an opinion based on both research and experience the same as an opinion based on moral beliefs? Do opinions that subjugate and oppress people have the same merit as ones that encourage the fight toward equality? Should these opinions really get equal support and respect?

I think opinions can be wrong.

I think people who are anti-choice are wrong. If your opinion is that abortion is wrong, you have every right to make the choice not to get one. But if you want to force other people to adhere to your morals, that’s wrong. If your opinion places you in a position to make decisions for other people, that’s wrong.

I think people who ignore and diminish gender and sexual identities are wrong. If your gender identity matches the one you were assigned at birth and you’ve only ever experienced heterosexual attraction, that’s cool. But if you try to erase the experiences and feelings that other people have just because you can’t empathize, that’s wrong.

If your opinion is that politics are a waste of time, that’s wrong. If you’re in a privileged position where you don’t have to politically fight for your rights and you don’t feel the need to fight for others’, that’s your decision. But don’t you dare tell me I’m wasting my time because I can’t ignore the inequality around me. Don’t tell me I shouldn’t be trying to make things better in whatever way I can. That’s wrong.

That being said, I think people who don’t fight for the rights of others are wrong. Thinking you deserve more than other people just because it was automatically granted to you is wrong. Thinking there’s some sort of natural selection process that resulted in getting you where you are is wrong.

More than anything, if your opinion is based on inaccurate information or denial of reality, it’s wrong. Just because you personally don’t encounter or observe racism doesn’t mean you can argue it doesn’t exist. Just because you personally prefer traditional gender roles doesn’t mean you can deny they have harmful impacts on our society.

Saying purple is the best color doesn’t significantly deny or erase the experiences of others, it just offers a different perspective. Saying a trans woman isn’t a real woman isn’t just a different perspective, it’s wrong. Saying that women shouldn’t be able to have as much sex as they want isn’t just a different belief, it’s harmful and it’s wrong.

So no, just because I can’t stop you from sharing your problematic thoughts with the world, it doesn’t mean I have to respect your sexist/racist/ableist/queerphobic/transphobic opinion.

And if you choose to defend that opinion, I definitely don’t have to respect you.

Stay rad, pals.

(Alright I took 2 weeks off because I just wasn't feeling the feminist passion burning, but it's back! However, I think I'm gonna scrap the whole Monday/Thursday schedule and instead just post when I feel like I actually have something to say. That way I won't be forcing or rushing anything. I'm still gonna aim for twice a week but we'll see how that goes.)

The Feminist Label AKA We’re (Mostly) Not About Burning Bras

Alright, friends, I’ve been wanting to talk about this for a while and the time has finally come. We need to stop being afraid to use the word feminist. Furthermore, we need to stop being afraid to use it as a label for ourselves. Not convinced? That’s because I’ve only written 3 sentences. Let me thoroughly convince you.

So feminism. Do we know what that means? I’m not trying to be a condescending piece of poopoo, I’m just guessing that many people don’t. It’s literally all about gender equality. Some people contest the name because they say it makes it seem completely focused on women. There is definitely an emphasis on women (as the disadvantaged group here), but we’re all about helping out the dudes as well. If you’re doing feminism the non-douchey way, we’re also looking out for trans people, genderfluid, genderqueer, two-spirit, and any other gender identity out there. Because the point is that we’re all human and gender shouldn’t have an inherent value placed on it.

Alright, we’ve established the cause as what I think most people would consider a worthwhile one. And yet only 26% of people say that feminist is a positive term. Let’s talk about misconceptions. Burning bras? I know I’m not the first one to make this point, but anyone who has ever browsed Victoria’s Secret knows how expensive bras are. I may be a raging feminist, but I’m not dumb enough to burn $40 worth of fabric.

We’re often categorized as man-haters. I can tell you that personally, I do not hate men at all. I consider myself a huge fan of men. Especially when they wear khaki pants or drive cars or have those veins sticking out of their arms that should really gross me out but I actually find it super attractive. I digress. We don’t hate men! We’re not particularly fond of men who want to have a say in something they’ll never actually experience. We may even dislike men who use their automatic higher status as a platform to drown out the voices of members of oppressed groups. But we don’t hate men based on the fact that they’re men. We hate the privilege that society automatically hands to them.

A lot of people like to call us lesbians. This probably follows the idea that if we hate men, we obviously need to find someone to have sex with (shout out to asexuality, amirite?) My response to this would be that if there seems to be a concentrated number of queer women in the world of feminism, it probably has something to do with their intersecting identities. Queer people are obviously oppressed by our society, mix that with the disadvantages of being a woman and you’ve probably created a human who’s willing to fight for equality. In my textbook that I’m not allowed to cite because it’s not technically published yet, the authors talk about patriarchal bargains and how many gay men negotiate the patriarchy (which would ostracize them for their sexuality) by emphasizing their manliness. Lesbian women don’t have that option. There’s my statistic-lacking theory.

Alright so you agree with the idea of gender equality. I feel safe assuming this because if you didn’t, you would’ve already left this page. What do you have to do to become a feminist? Call yourself a feminist. That’s it. There’s no set of expectations you need to meet to earn the label. Something like 88% of women want gender equality, yet only 23% identify as feminists. And only 16% of men accept the label. If you believe in gender equality (for ALL genders, remember. Not just men and women. Fuck the binary.) then you align with the feminist cause and therefore can call yourself a feminist.

What next, though? I have some suggestions for you. Baby steps are obviously fine, but also keep in mind that addressing gender inequalities is a constant learning experience. I can say from experience that each day I realize a new way that gender impacts my life. From the political aspect, bills are almost constantly being drafted, proposed, voted on, and passed that are meant to target a specific gender. You can’t just do an hour’s research and then consider yourself knowledgeable. If you want to be an active fighter for gender equality, you have to practice CONSTANT VIGILENCE. (Harry Potter, anyone?)

So my first suggestion is to Google (or use the search engine of your choice) rape culture. I think it was one of the topics that did the most to bring me into the cause. It’s something that you don’t necessarily realize until you suddenly see its effects everywhere.

Please, please, please, look up information about abortion. One of the quickest ways to alienate yourself from other feminists is to claim to be pro-life. I was there at one point. Make a list of the reasons you’re against abortion and then do some research. I found, and you probably will too, that most of my arguments were actually not based in fact at all. Look up the pro-life movement and the things it’s responsible for. More than anything, remember that pro-life isn’t about stopping abortion, it’s about blocking a woman’s safe and convenient access to abortion and inhibiting her choices.

Think about the ways that gender affects you in your daily life. As a man, that means acknowledging the privileges you have as well as the obstacles you encounter. Think about the double standard of sexual expression. (Have I talked about slut shaming yet? I definitely will.)

But overall, do not be afraid to call yourself a feminist. As the great Albus Dumbledore once said, “Fear of the name increases fear of the thing itself.” (Two HP references in one blog post, holla!) Show people that feminists and therefore feminism aren’t things to be scared of. Let’s get rid of the dumb stigma surrounding a worthy cause and then we can all happily wear witty t-shirts advertising our feminism.

Stay rad, pals.

Death is Weird

Recently, the film industry lost the talent of Philip Seymour Hoffman. I’m not going to pretend I’m super familiar with his acting career, but the films I did see him in gave me a respect and appreciation for his talent. I wouldn’t consider myself a fan and I definitely never knew the man personally, but I still feel a sense of loss.

As with the passing of Paul Walker and Cory Monteith in the last year, people on social media and in your day-to-day life are going to criticize those who mourn a celebrity’s death. They’ll say that just because someone’s famous doesn’t mean their death is any more tragic than the other thousands of deaths each day. I’m not here to say that they’re wrong.

But when you can put a name to a death, it’s going to feel more real than just hearing someone somewhere in the world died.

If you can put a face to that name, it’s going to affect you a little more.

If you know the cause of death, chances are you’re going to feel some sort of emotional connection.

If you are aware of the accomplishments in that person’s life, you’ll be able to recognize the world’s loss.

If you witnessed any of those accomplishments, you’ll probably feel your own sense of loss.

Maybe you feel some of these things, or maybe you recognize that death is sad but it’s also inevitable. That’s okay. If someone’s trying to tell you how you’re allowed to feel, they probably deserve a punch or two.

The truth of the matter is addiction is a serious issue. It’s something a lot of people struggle with, something with a deep social stigma surrounding it, and it kills a lot of people. Maybe someone sees a friend or a brother or even their future self in PSH’s death. Don’t tell them they can’t grieve.

Philip Seymour Hoffman is outlived by a partner and three children. Don’t tell someone they can’t feel sorry for the kids growing up without their father.

Some people just have problems confronting the reality of death.

Nobody should be demanding that you feel the same about every death you encounter in your lifetime. We’re all going through different stuff in our lives and nobody has any place to claim to understand or try to police another person’s feelings.

Whether you recognize this death as a loss of talent, a man who will be greatly missed, or just another part of the circle of life, you are completely entitled to those feelings.

Stay rad, pals, and R.I.P. Philip Seymour Hoffman.