Thoughts on the State of the Union Address

First and foremost, I love Barack Obama so much it’s disgusting. He’s just a superb guy who I feel like believes a lot in the people of America, not just the country itself.

And, for the record, these are just my thoughts. I’ve done ZERO special research for this. I literally just watched the address and read people’s tweets about it and now I’m giving my reflection.

As you may have heard, Joe Biden is a true sight to behold. He has perfected his way of looking totally entranced by a speaker and it’s truly amazing. You can really feel what he feels while he listens. And don’t get me started on that pearly white smile. How can you disagree with anything that makes this man happy? I will never understand.

I have a lot of thoughts about John Boehner, mostly revolving around the fact that he’s an asshole. He also looks like a basset hound, perpetually sad and bored. He looked like he was working on his plot to overtake Obama’s presidency through the whole speech, only clapping when he realized everyone else was. And trust me, I hate standing ovations as much as the next person, but how many times did Joe Biden stand up while Boehner remained unmoved? I’m not sure the exact number, but it was quite a few.

There are few things I appreciate more than digs at people who don’t support the ACA, especially when they acknowledge the ridiculous amount of time Congress spent voting to repeal it and continuously failing. That happened during the SOTU so I was very pleased.

Obviously I’m also really hopeful about the policies that the president talked about. Raising minimum wage over $10 would be super awesome if it actually happens! So will an improved immigration system! Better student loans! Marriage equality! Access for women to reproductive health care! I can imagine people are criticizing the speech for being too focused on aspirations instead of hard set plans, especially since Obama has a terrible reputation for not getting anything done. But if you don’t think a lot of that has to do with an uncooperative Congress, I don’t know what to say to you. (Remember that ridiculous amount of votes to repeal Obamacare I talked about? Yeah.) Even so, he said this year he’s going to do everything in his power to get things done, even without help from Congress.

Overall, I just really like federal-level political events. I like bonding with other people who care about politics as much as I do. I like hearing hopeful messages of what our country might be if we work toward a goal. I like hearing concrete plans to achieve that goal. So the 2014 State of the Union gets an A+ for being everything I could dream of.

Stay rad, pals.

"Concerning Hobbits"

(This is not spoiler free, y’all. Read at your own risk.)

Most people who don’t follow me on Twitter may not be aware of my passionate affection for the Halflings of J.R.R. Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings trilogy, commonly referred to as hobbits. But today is your lucky day because I recently obtained a set of the books (including The Hobbit) so I’m about to word vomit all about how amazing they truly are.

We can start, as the books do, by talking about Shire culture. Hobbits appreciate nothing more than a life of peace and pleasure. They love parties and smoking tobacco and eating about a million meals a day. It’s pretty clear that nobody particularly admires Bilbo Baggins after he comes back from his adventure. They don’t know or care about how important he was in the quest. Many hobbits in the Shire regard him as a bad influence on the younger ones by sharing his stories. Bravery isn’t a trait admired in a hobbit, and they definitely don’t aspire for adventure.

Now we introduce Frodo Baggins, who was adopted by Bilbo and raised hearing about his exciting history. Frodo has a very obvious admiration for Bilbo, but he’s also conscious of what older hobbits think about his guardian. While he likes to ponder what it’d be like to leave the Shire, Frodo never has real intentions to do so. He understands and is content with life in the Shire. But he still agrees to take the Ring to the Elves. And in Rivendell when the council struggles to choose someone to bear the Ring to Mordor, Frodo volunteers to do it, even while thinking of the comfort of returning to the Shire. At many points, he’s confronted with the idea that he won’t finish the journey, let alone make it back home, but it never stops him from pushing on.

If you want me to get grossly emotional, ask me how I feel about Samwise Gamgee’s loyalty. Not only is he happy to follow Frodo into the unknown and dangerous, but when Frodo tries to send him away, (on multiple occasions) Sam refuses to let his friend continue such a dangerous journey alone. Even when Frodo appears to be dead, Sam insists on staying with him because it’s where he belongs. I could honestly do a blog post just about how amazing Samwise Gamgee is, but I’ll just leave it there. He could have had a normal life in the Shire with a wife, but he willingly gives it up in order to do whatever he can to help Frodo.

I’m going to talk about Peregrin Took and Meriadoc Brandybuck (Pippin and Merry) as a unit because they’re rarely separated in the story. They’re taken from the rest of the fellowship by orcs and drugged, but they manage to escape. Then, alone in a forest they had been warned is dangerous, what do the two hobbits do but convince the sleeping, incredibly slow-to-action Ents to fight back against Saruman and take Isengard back. Even when the two are separated, they continue to pursue goodness. When Pippin arrives at Gondor with Gandalf, he pledges his service to King Denethor in honor of Boromir dying to protect him. After just saying, “Man! Indeed not! I am a hobbit and no more valiant than I am a man, save perhaps now and again by necessity. Do not let Gandalf deceive you!” Likewise, Merry devotes himself to serving King Théoden of Rohan while Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli go off on their own quest. When the people of Rohan are preparing to ride to the aid of Gondor, Merry offers to fight with them instead of being left safely behind and when the king declines the request, he rides with another soldier. These two joined Frodo on his journey to help their friend out, but even after separating, they continue working for the greater cause.

Undoubtedly knowing that when they arrived back at the Shire, nobody would truly appreciate what they had gone through and accomplished, these 4 hobbits risk their lives countless times in hopes of making a safer world. They don’t have the same sense of honor ingrained in them as the other members of their company, so they’re not motivated at all by receiving recognition. Instead, they feel a deep sense of responsibility to do whatever is in their power to better the world for everyone.

But it’s not just Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pippin. At the very end, all the hobbits in the Shire have to stage an uprising against the men who had taken over. It may take a little work, but they fight back and claim their home back.

My point is that hobbits have a reputation for being low-key and isolated and peaceful, but as Gandalf is reminded time and time again, there is much more to hobbits than it initially seems. They’re capable of being brave and selfless and fighting for a higher cause as much as anyone else.

“It never ceases to amaze me, the courage of hobbits.” – Gandalf, The Desolation of Smaug, 2013

I know the feeling, do you?

Stay rad, pals.

((And, for the record, the title of this blog post is a title in the Prologue of The Fellow of the Ring. I'm not trying to take any credit for that.))

This is Not a Defense

(I'm warning you right now that most of the content of this post is in the links. You should read them.)

Hello, kids, let’s talk about Justin Bieber.

Everyone’s obsessed with him. His fans like his music and think he’s a super babe. Every one else ridicules him because the most outspoken part of his fanbase is young girls and what young girls like is always ridiculed.

People love hating him.

They love hating him so much that they share any little news article about his bad behavior and talk about what a spoiled rich kid he is.

They’re right about that – Justin Bieber is a rich white male who (shockingly!) is apparently oblivious to the privilege he has.

You know what else is shocking?

That nobody has anything real to say about him. The most logic they can pull out of their ass is “he’s a role model to a lot of young people so he should behave better.”

Okay.

But he’s also a person.  A young person whose actions aren’t uncommon. His actions shouldn’t be condemned just because they’re in the public eye for other people to see. They should be condemned because they’re NOT OKAY.

How often do people appropriate Black culture to seem edgier? It’s been happening for ages. Does the mainstream criticize Bieber for using his Black friends as props? Do they talk about his tattoos and why they’re problematic? Do they talk about his obvious efforts to mimic a culture he’s not a part of? No. They just “hate Justin Bieber!!!!!!!!”

Bieber can wear “gangsta” clothes because it’s safe for him to do so the same way that Miley Cyrus can claim twerking. Society doesn’t feel threatened when a White face does things rooted in Black culture. It’s cool when a White person does it, but when a Black person does it it’s ghetto.

So let’s please move the conversation away from one fucking person for everyone to bash.

Stop making excuses for your hatred of Justin Bieber and just acknowledge the fact that you’re probably a bit of an asshole who can’t take someone seriously because a lot of little girls like him. Don’t try to pull reasons out of your ass without doing any sort of research.

Don’t make Justin Bieber into such a joke that his actions aren’t taken seriously.

Don’t fucking make rape jokes about Bieber in prison because rape. jokes. are. never. funny.

And how about we stop perpetuating a certain culture and then bashing the shit out of the products of it?

Stay rad, pals.

((I’ll be honest, y’all. I had half a blog post written about Justin Bieber in the media yesterday, before he got arrested. Then I read really gross responses and this article and decided to go a different direction. Maybe someday I’ll finish the other one and post it but for now this is it.))

Trends Guys Hate AKA I Don't Give a Fuck

                There have been a lot of articles circling the internet lately regarding the things women wear that apparently every man despises. If you’ve had the pleasure of reading one of these, you probably noticed that it includes pretty much everything we wear. UGG boots, yoga pants, red lipstick, beanies, bandeaus, fake nails, high waists, high heels, hair bows, oversized sweaters, hi-low dresses, leggings, dramatic makeup, skinny jeans, cut-off tanks. If we were only trying to please guys with our clothes, half of every women’s clothing store would be off limits.

                It’s like people are incapable of imagining women dressing in clothes they like. Because obviously only male approval can make us feel good about ourselves. It’s also a sign of how heteronormative our society is that we automatically assume a girl dresses according to the attention she wants to receive from men. Because she obviously doesn’t want to attract a person of any other gender, right?

                Now let’s talk about how there’s no female equivalent of the male gaze. Are there hundreds of articles in the mainstream about the things guys wear that women hate? No. Because men aren’t expected to dress to attract women. They wear stupid t-shirts and ill-fitting jeans and gross worn-out sneakers and nobody says a word. Guys who do dress to impress girls are usually assumed to be gay because it’s not manly to care about your appearance. I mean if you can’t impress a girl with your pure strength and dominance, does it even count?

                Personally, when I put on red lipstick I’m not thinking about how it might dissuade a guy from wanting to kiss me. I’m not thinking about how it might make me look like an old woman. I’m thinking: hmmm, I really want my lips to be red today. When I wear skinny jeans I’m not thinking about whether guys can see the entire outline of my legs. I’m not thinking they might show off some curves guys might not appreciate too much. I’m thinking of comfort, or how the bottoms won’t drag on the sidewalk. Sometimes I’ll even wear things that I know won’t bring me any attention from guys because I’m just not interested.

                Sometimes we dress to impress other girls, even when we’re heterosexual. After all, who’s going to be the one to compliment our new shirt? Unless it’s a band t-shirt or pop culture reference, it’s probably not going to be a boy. It’ll probably be a fellow woman.

                But the truth is girls mostly dress for themselves. We want to feel good about ourselves when we step outside. Clothes and makeup give us the opportunity to create whatever image we want for ourselves. They give us ways to emphasize aspects that we love about ourselves and hide those that we’re maybe not so fond of. Guys, do us a favor and stop assuming everything we do is for your viewing pleasure. And accept that maybe, just maybe, girls have desires and preferences of their own.

((Hey friends. It’s come to my attention that a lot of my posts play heavily into the gender binary because when talking about gender inequality, it’s easy to divide it into 2 groups: boys and girls. This is because most of society’s rules about gender disregard anything outside of that binary. I’m going to try to be more conscious of this in the future because any feminism that isn’t intersectional is bullshit, but for the record, when I say women, I mean anyone who identifies as that gender, regardless of sex parts. Stay rad, pals, and wear that red lipstick proud.))

A Better Solution to Body Image

One of the bigger feminist issues right now is body positivity. It’s an issue that most people can recognize and try to fight against, regardless of gender. People are becoming typically more conscious of our fat-shaming society, they focus on health more than weight (or at least hide under the guise of it), and they pretty openly acknowledge the impossible image women are compared to. Needless to say, we have a long way to go. But as we move forward, there’s a change I’d like to make in the way we talk about dealing with body shame.

One of the most important aspects of body positivity right now revolves around the idea that “every body is beautiful.” Which is great, but doesn’t necessarily address the real issue. The problem isn’t that girls don’t find themselves beautiful: the problem is that we know our value in society is based on our beauty. This is what distinguishes female body image issues from those of men. While men might not be happy with the way they look, it doesn’t directly relate to how they’re treated. On a blind date, a man hopes to meet a model while a woman’s dream is to be set up with a doctor.

What we need to be saying is that women don’t need to be beautiful. We have no obligation to be visually appealing to anyone. We’re not objects for men to look upon with pleasure. We’re human beings, defined by our thoughts and our actions.

Men aren’t socially required to wear makeup because society doesn’t care what they look like. We aren’t trained to notice their flaws like we are with women. Men’s fashion isn’t constantly changing the way it does for women, and there’s definitely less pressure for men to stick to those trends. At a college party, it’s typical to see guys in t-shirts but girls are expected to put significant effort into their appearance. Women are expected to be visual creatures under the eyes of men.

So it’s great to tell girls that they’re beautiful no matter what they look like, but don’t you think it’s even more helpful to teach them that they don’t need to be? You have the right to look like shit if you want. You’re allowed to wear sweatpants all the time if you want. You’re allowed to dye your hair crazy colors, you’re allowed to wear large amounts of makeup or none at all. You can be super skinny or super fat or anywhere in between. You can look however you want because your appearance doesn’t define you.

(I'm an asshole so I missed my post on Monday. But FUN NEWS: I'm going to start doing extra blog posts on Thursdays as a regular thing! They'll probably be more dumb than my Monday ones, but whatever! Stay rad, pals!)

Defining the Undefinable: Virginity as a Social Construct

                I’ve been watching The Carrie Diaries lately and while it’s an enjoyable and cute show, I can’t help but notice the annoying emphasis they place on virginity. So let’s talk about virginity and, more importantly, how it isn’t actually a thing.

                First of all, how do we classify a virgin? The typical definition is someone who has never engaged in sexual intercourse – usually referring to the penile-vaginal variety. Now maybe you already picked up on how heteronormative and heterosexist that is, but if not, let me explain. Let’s say a girl realizes from a relatively young age that she doesn’t want to have sex with boys, but rather with fellow women. She goes through life only engaging in sexual activity with women, lacking penile penetration. While she meets the definition, is she really what we’d consider a virgin? The same goes for male same-sex couples. Or people who engage in a lot of sexual activity but without “going all the way.”

                How about some historical context? In the past, virginity was used to determine the worthiness of a bride, her purity. While social class determined the importance of bridal virginity, the universal reality was that virgins were better than non-virgins. Sounds pretty outdated, right? Wrong. We can still see society’s concern with virginity through other socially constructed terms like “slut” and “prude.” Virginity is both prized and abhorred. We may not use it to determine worth in the same way, but we’re still obsessed with it.

                And now we’ve reached the inevitable point where I point out the misogyny in it. Looking at the past, you literally can’t deny that the “virginity=purity” idea almost exclusively affected women. Pre-marital sex was frowned upon for everyone, yes, but men weren’t considered less pure afterward. That idea still exists today. Can we talk about the imagery of “popping the cherry?” Does that sound pleasant to anyone? Can we talk about how we stress to girls that their first time is going to hurt (even though it REALLY SHOULDN’T) and that it needs to be special? In The Carrie Diaries, the main character talks about her thoughts on losing her virginity and the main focus was “Will it hurt?” “Will I feel different after?” As a girl, I can confirm “Did it hurt?” is one of the first questions commonly asked when a friend says they had sex for the first time. And it’s completely normal. We’ve trained girls to believe it’s supposed to hurt and more importantly, we’ve trained boys that it’s okay to hurt us.

                What else do we teach guys? That they need to make the girl’s first time special. Because they’re just sex machines, right? Girls are the only ones with emotional attachments so a guy just has to respect that. We tell girls that if they don’t “lose it” with the right guy, they’ll regret it, and sometimes they do. But would it happen as often if we as a society didn’t stress the importance of your first time?

                Would we be a better society if we didn’t try to sort the world into “virgins” and “non-virgins?” If we acknowledged that it’s impossible to do that? What if we let go of a term with a sexist history that has no modern relevance? If we taught guys that no, ripping the hymen is not required with initiation into the world of sexual intercourse? What if we stopped preaching that the first time should be with someone special, and connecting sex exclusively with love?

                Would we live in a better world?

                Of course.

Stay rad, pals.